We have all had our ups and our downs in life. This last year was filled with them for me. I have told my readership about my getting divorced from a woman who identified herself as being in mentally ill. Well there in lied the problem.
Year the 7 years that I was married to Kansa I saw her go in and out of the hospital for mental issues yet I never once heard her to tell people that she was doing well or that she that stable.
It was as if she refused to try and get better. It didn’t help that I was watching my vision fail and an addiction to Porn on my part was not being addressed to her satisfaction. But her filing for divorce put me into a depression that almost took my like. I thought of Kansa a my best friend and she lost the love that she had for me, but some how with God’s grace I worked through the pain and found that I would never be happy until I stopped counting my worth as a person by what is in my heart and not what others think of me.
Last year I way sick as any one could get without finding his or her grave. I was told I had Cancer but the truth was no one could figure it out. Two months after Kansa left I was offered a chance to truly get well. Dr. Coffee, my PCP at the time tested my blood for Pretoria. I tested positive.
Now I stay out of the sun as much as possible and only take jobs affer dark. I draw a pint of blood once a month to counter act the overload of preforian in my blood. Life is better although I miss Kansa. I live in the middle of nowhere and live of the land with my new wife. I do all of the work of the day before sun up and sleep during the day.
Solar plannels provide power and Metro PCS is our one monthly expens. Kansa through me away and I rejected people as a whole. Still these are my preferences and my readers may not agree but this is who I am and I love my life.
We have church functions and cook together. Kansa never wanted to learn to cook or even help most of the time. Meanwhile, Darlene seems to enjoy cooking with me. Kansa always wanted dogs and I bought her a pitbull the day after she went to the hospital. I wanted to surprise her but I ended up returing the pup. These scares will heal with the help of the blood of Christ.
Thanks to my friends and family, a long with the atonement, I no longer feel trapped in my own skin.
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